I get by with a little help from my friends…

We were lucky enough to be invited along to Pub Group at Jesmond Assembly recently; which does exactly what it says on the tin! Pub Group has been put together by some of the gentlemen who live at our Jesmond Assembly community in Newcastle, and is a true celebration and example of the importance of male friendships in later life.

“We all come from different backgrounds and live here at Jesmond Assembly in different circumstances,” explains Mike, one of the members, “some of the group are single or widowed, some of the group are married, but the group is brought together by what we do have in common - beyond the fact we just live in the same place.”

“It’s a grassroots organisation really” says David, who initially started the group back in 2020. “We started off meeting once a month, but it was so popular and we were all enjoying it so much that we went down to fortnightly, and now we go out once a week.” The gents meet in the communal kitchenette at Jesmond Assembly before heading out to the local pub each week, though they also plan bigger events such as Christmas parties, whiskey tasting and birthday celebrations - the stories from some of which wouldn’t be safe to retell here!

“Essentially, we all just take the mickey out of each other - but we know it’s a safe space to do that.” Mike tells us. “We talk about everything from football to politics, and though we’ve all got differing opinions (particularly when it comes to football!) it’s just so important for us as men living in this community to have the outlet for these conversations and debates.” 

The importance of male friendship, particularly in later life, is not overlooked by our residents at Jesmond Assembly. Research from Movember, who campaign every year to raise awareness of the conversation around men’s mental health, shows that as many as two in five men never go out for food and drinks with their friends. Importantly, the narrative around this is changing - Max Dickens’ book seeks to ignite this conversation about how men can make, and maintain, those ever important friendships with each other.

“We didn’t form the group because we felt forced or prompted to,” David, another member of the group says, “it wasn’t something that was a suggested initiative - David formed the group off his own back and it’s grown ever since then. It feels more organic that it is something that’s developed of its own accord and I think that’s why it is so successful. None of the men who live here are forced to join - we have new ‘members’ join us all the time but equally for some of the men it’s not for them and that’s fine. We want it to be something that everyone chooses to do, not that they feel forced to.”

“The thing is, you’re unlikely to find any of us at the craft group for example,” Mike adds, “so this group provides that social space for us that other activities provide for other residents.”

The main takeaway of our chat with the pub group is that the very basic pillars of friendship - male friendship in particular - remain the same at any age. That actually, getting together with ‘the lads’ and heading down to the pub is something far more powerful than a cliche. It provides a really important sense of connection and belonging that must be nurtured, particularly in later life.

Thank you to the Jesmond Assembly Pub Group for letting us join them!